It's been a month again since my last post but I didn't really feel like posting anything, and as I have been dealing with a personal loss recently, I wasn't really sure whether to talk about it or not. But anyway, I'm back now and would like to pick up on a topic that I have been thinking about quite a lot over the past few weeks: I don't like Summer.

Some of you might just have gasped and been like 'Wtf?! How can you NOT like Summer?!' But yes, it's true - I really don't enjoy the Summer months.
It's not that I don't like sun, don't get me wrong, I love waking up to the birds singing and the sun peeking through my window; I love going outside when it's late already but still light and warm; I love the way the trees whisper and how their leaves glow in all shades of the greenest green you can imagine; I love the smell of sun cream and freshly cut grass, and luckily, I don't suffer from hayfever like a lot of other people. I really like all of these and more things about Summer and I can totally understand why most people prefer the warmth and sun to coldness and darkness, but I'm just not made for Summer.
Maybe it's because I was born in March and some people say that people born during the Winter/Spring months tend to feel more comfortable at that time of the year. But I honestly don't think that's true.





These pictures might not look like it but I really didn't feel comfortable on that day which was one of the hottest days of the year - in September! I couldn't believe it when I got up on that morning and saw that it was going to be 34 degrees.
Heat and Sun are nice when you're on holiday or in the countryside, by the seaside or if you have access to a swimming pool. But being in the middle of sweaty London, these temperatures are not fun, I can tell you.

I just don't feel like myself during the Summer months. I don't have not enough clothes to choose from because you can't layer up; I don't think that colourful outfits suit me very well and except red and a bit of pastel blue, I don't even own many clothes that are not either black, grey, white or nude. Also, I don't like wearing makeup when it's too warm (you can spend 50 pounds on a foundation and yes, it still melts off your face when it's over 30 degrees outside, nobody can deny that); and since I cut off my hair, it has been too short to tie it up in a bun or do anything else with it to keep it out of my face and away from my sweaty neck.
I admit, I am a person that sweats really easily, and there is no worse feeling in this world than a drop of sweat running down your back and you can't do anything about it, seriously.

Being a quite 'busty' person, I also can't get away with not wearing a bra when it's too hot to not give a damn about it, so I always feel like I have to hide that area. In general, I just want to hide everything away in the heat because I feel like I my skintone is too light for the Summer and no matter what I try to do, nothing really helps. I always try fake tanning but no matter how expensive or good the product, I just can't be bothered with the whole routine on a day to day basis. Especially because I sweat during the night when it's too hot, so the product simply just transfers onto my sheets which is too annoying to keep up with the whole thing. As I can't get a tan naturally, my only option would be going to the tanning studio regularly but I really don't want to get skin cancer, sorry.
No matter what, anything that is not a natural way of tanning, simply requires too much effort for my lifestyle and I really admire everyone who has the drive to keep up with daily exfoliating, shaving and applying - because I don't.







When it comes to my weight and body image, I don't necessarily feel uncomfortable because I am really quite okay with myself now in that aspect. But I always say that I would either like to be really nicely tanned or at least quite slim. If you're lucky enough to be both - good for you. But I am unfortunately not blessed with either of that, so I just have to deal with this fact and hope that there will come a day when you can get a tan without risking your health. (I guess my prayers will never be heard, though.)

All in all, I guess my own dream of becoming the Californian beach beauty that I would like to be one day, will never come true, so I should probably shift my image of beauty to something that is not skinny and tanned. Or maybe I should just try to accept myself the way I am: an annoying mixture between too pale and not confident enough for Summer.

Although this whole post is mainly just a rant about how happy I am to leave the heat behind me, I also have to admit that this was one of the most exciting Summers of my life and I wouldn't have wanted to miss one day of it! (Well, maybe one or two of the hottest ones.)